WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
