I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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