So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
