Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
