Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
