I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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