he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
