Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I could fuck to npr.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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