when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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