Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
