Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
