Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
