but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize