Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
