I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
