She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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