i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
