just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
