You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
