She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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