She said her name was "party"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
