It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
