I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
