I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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