I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
