Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
