I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.