Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
