Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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