He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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