Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
