the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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