Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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