Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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