so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
