Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
