Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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