the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
