Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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