Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
