It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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