You're my little dorito
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
