Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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