We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
