If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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