Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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