Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My liver just had a heart attack.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
