I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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