stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
