I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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