Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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