doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
