But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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