I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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