Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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