Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
