A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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