my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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