You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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