Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
