I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
