Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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